Working Title: "Scissors"

***In Progress***

      When she got to her office, she resisted the urge to shut the door behind her. She had rarely shut her door in the six years she had been there and she felt careful the past week not to do anything out of the ordinary. She shook her head to herself.

      Yes, nothing out of the ordinary. Nothing like ransacking the cabinets in every kitchen on every floor until she had found what she had been looking for. She picked up the mug from her bookshelf and sat down with it at her desk. She turned it over in her hands, observing the familiar chip in the rim, the coffee stains on the bottom. She had bought it for him on one of her trips to Chicago.

      ”Now you can think of me every time you have your morning coffee.”

      The words and the memory of his answering smile made her stomach feel full of bricks. She swallowed and swiveled the chair around to face out the windows. They took up almost the whole wall behind her desk. In the distance the Pacific Ocean stretched against the sky, vanishing in a hazy, gray line. She tried to focus on it as she let the words assemble themselves in her head.

      Dear Diary.

      Sad again today.

      Better than yesterday though – I didn’t think about him until I brushed my teeth. But then I thought about the mirror in his bathroom and it made me cry. Sometimes it feels like I will never be happy again…

      She said “Dear Diary,” but she probably should have said “Dear God.” She leaned her head back against the chair and closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. The phrase “drowning in memories” was something she lived daily now. When she finally forced herself to stop remembering, it was like her head breaking through the surface of the water. She needed the extra oxygen.

      “…Kim?” There was a faint knock and a girl’s voice at the door.

      She turned her chair around quickly with a bright smile. It was her assistant Vanessa. “Yeah, come on in. Is it time to go over the calendars?”

      Vanessa nodded and sat down on the other side of the desk. It was time to get back to work. Time to put the sadness away for a while.